Cell Phone : Hello?
DJ: Hello? Who is this?
Cell Phone: This is James.
DJ: James, why do you have my husbands cell phone?
James: I have your husbands cell phone?
Dj's cell phone is now handed over the the driver of the car, Rod.
Rod: JAMES, why do you have my cell phone?
James: It's your cell phone? I just bought it for $40 from a guy.
Rod: I want my cell phone back, how can we arrange for me to pick it up.
James: Well, it cost me 40 bucks but I'm not that kind of guy that does that sort of thing, I just bought it from some other guy.
Rod, who is now completely unaware of the traffic around him but he does not give a shit thinks and thinks.
You see, the car was parked in the 4th basement of the Department of Justice (DOJ) in downtown Madison. It was left unlocked because nothing is in the car and it's a bother to key-lock this particular car and . . .good grief, it's in the 4th basement of THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT.
Nothing in the car 99% of the time, except THIS time my cell phone dropped out of my backpack in the back seat. At work I looked for it and when it was not in it's special compartment I knew exactly where it was. In the backseat. No big deal.
Except on this particular day someone decided to rummage through our car and found a cell phone.
When DJ entered the car I said "Call my cell phone" thinking maybe it MIGHT be hiding somewhere but knowing it was stolen (stuff in the car was not where we had left it).
And that is when James answered the phone.
Back in traffic I decide perhaps I did not want to meet some stranger to get my phone so we go back to DOJ can call in the caverly. I tell James I'll call him back in 10 minutes.
I park at DOJ and we talk to DOJ security who call the Capital Police Station (right across the street) and they respond immediately 15 minutes later.
Information is taken and Officer Jason calls James!
James's story has changed ever so slightly and he is on a bus now and hesitates when he is asked for his last name. But he is willing to give back the phone EVEN THOUGH it cost him $40.
We arrange to meet him at a point near Oscar Mayer at a bus stop in 25 minutes.
We're on stake out across the street as back-ups are called in on this Friday after work (not a way to start a weekend).
The bus's come and go but no James. We wait for 1/2 hour but no James. Officer Lee calls James and James is now a little pissed and tells Jason (who he now thinks is me - white guys all sound alike) WHY DID YOU BRING IN THE COPS!
Faux-Rod says he is sorry and just wants his phone. James again says it DID cost him $40 and faux Rod agrees to meet him in two hours at the library at 8:00.
No meeting was held as faux-Rod watched for any activity at the library at 8:00.
Meanwhile we disconnected that phone and I, Real Rod, on the drive home was just itching for a certain neighbor to look at him funny as we drove in the driveway.
Real Rod drank heavily at the Kurth that night hiding the need to take someone down. Luckily Caralea - Mary's 10 year old Black Belt wielding daughter did not piss him off or he could have had broken bones on top of all the other anger.
THEN (oh - it never ends).
I'm buying a phone the next day in Madison and of course my Razor is now $330. I settle on another phone for much less but as I'm about to pay for it I see my Credit Card is still at the drug store in Columbus (I hope - I'm calling after this). ARG!!!
That's my story!
Thank goodness no one ever calls me! Except last night my friend Elweed was over (DJ was at Jenny's house) and we decided to order Pizza from the Pizza Shack. Wait - NO PHONE!!! ARG!!!!
On a slightly funnier note.
I was at Wal-Mart yesterday to buy a small funnel and a strainer for my beer. I also needed a scale so I could way my Hops for beer.
I could not find them so I ask a guy where is scales were. The guys asks "How big of one do you need" and I say "I need to measure ounces and half ounces".
He gets this big smile and I say "For Hops, I'm making beer" and he says "Yea right" and smiles, "follow me". Sheesh!!
They were $28 - I didn't buy one.
I'm looking forward to tomorrows blog"
Have a great day.