Wednesday, January 11, 2012

White Boy Rap and Jury Duty

White Boy Rap

Ahem, ahem
Me mother has gone to church,
She told me not to play with you
Because you're in the dirt,

It isn't because you're dirty,
It isn't because you clean,
It's because you got the whooping cough
And eat margarine

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Up the long latter
And down the show rope

To hell with king Billy
And God bless the pope.

If that doesn't do it
We'll tear 'em in two
And send them to hell
With the red, white and blue.
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OK - either I'm about to have a stroke or my mammoth brain is recalling things from the way way past. I'm betting on a stroke. I have no idea why I thought of those two things this morning.I'm a little scared.
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I got an email a few days ago from a woman who spoke broken engrish. She loved a few of my "paintings" and wanted to purchase a couple. I sent her the price list and she ordered a couple and I tossed in the words "free shipping" because I knew that people like that and it's not THAT expensive.

She agreed and I should ship the canvas images to New Jersey and then London!! WHAT???? LONDON ENGLAND?

At least MY part is only to New Jersey.  I'm going to have to up my max payment on my CC processing and think I'm going to wait until things have cleared before I do any real sending.  How do I send FedEx anyway, is there a FedEx store??  Last tiem I shopped somethign to Denver and the UPS box ALONE cost $60!!  

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I got a notice that I'm on call for 5 days of jury duty next month.  $20 large a day and 48.5 cents per mile. SWEET!!!!! I've always wanted to be on a jury.  Does anyone know where I can get one of those white wigs they wear in Europe? I think that would show how I'm taking this seriously.

I was just told that when someone was being hanged they had a black thing that would go on top of the white wig. That would be so cool. 

I was reading how to be a good juror.

1. Listen carefully.    Does this mean I can't have my iPad when in trial??
2. Keep an open mind.    I've been told my mind is so open it echoes!!
3. Control your emotions.  HEY - if I start to weep uncontrollably . . .should I raise my hand?
4. Do not discuss the case.  Well, except for my blog right? HELLO!! 
5. Do not read, view or listen to media accounts.     I actually don't understand that sentence.
6. Do not talk with anyone related to the case.    Define related, like a brother? spouse?.
7. Do not investigate on your own.   Except for asking questions during the trial of course!
8. Report problems to the court.   IF I lose the court WiFi password, THAT would be a problem.
9. Report emergencies to the court.  FIRE FIRE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
10. Be on time.

I am so ready to be on a jury!!!
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Now I must complete my HIPPA training! 

Cheers
Rod

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