Monday, March 17, 2014

STUDY: Columbus Residents Have Unusually Large Bladders

So the Crimean's "voted" yesterday to join Russia.  What I would have done was have a write in vote for another Country, let's say France.  That would have made things interesting.

Crimeans' Vote to Join France 


Good news for downtown Columbus and other towns around Wisconsin. The Wisconsin Economic Development Corp approved increasing the tax credit  for property owners who want to fix their historic buildings from 10% to 20%.  This HAS to help The Broadway Theater group.

There has been news that robins have returned to Columbus - I have not seen any yet. They love red chokeberries (of which we now have 7) but so far no Robins in my snow covered yard.

HOWEVER - I do have red wing blackbirds as of yesterday. Welcome back

The Referendum.

There is a lot of miscommunication out there about the School Board and the newest school referendum.   This is NOT about building a new school.  All this is doing is asking permission from residents to purchase land, for FUTURE building  (we are talking 7 to 40 years down the road).

This is the last bit of land available inside the city limits and right now the price is cheap and will not get cheaper.  It will cost residents of Columbus nothing in taxes.

Just sayin'.

In a resent study conducted by the State of Wisconsin Department of Urology it was found that in the small community of Columbus Wisconsin residents have overly large bladders.

Dr. Pee Kegel commented " I believe these people have some of the largest bladders we have ever seen, truly remarkable".  

Further research has found that this all goes back to Schools and the Columbus School Board is looking into the situation. "We don't want to take all the credit" an unnamed source was heard saying.   We must also credit The Columbus "Green" initiative with help from The Tavern League.  "We all had our hands on our enlarged bladders.  It was quite ingenious actually".

The first to lay his hand on our bladders was the Energy and Sustainability Director.  "The problem comes to the cost of water.  How can we, as a community, save the earth and at the save time save money.  We all know that future wars will be over clean water".  So he came up with an idea.

We need the residents of Columbus to flush less often.

Enter The Tavern League.

We all know that the many bars in Columbus that offer weak fizzy yellow beer use up a lot of water with the constant toilet flushing. So they put the call out to Tavern League Architects.

We need to nip this problem where it begins, our youth.

So since Columbus had just passed a controversial referendum to build their first indoor school (roofed schools were deemed to expensive for the first 120 years and after the 78th try it was finally passed)  the Tavern League Architects went to work designing a school that would not only teach children about the pros and cons of electricity but also teach our children to "hold it".

By designing a high school with the only bathrooms at the very very far corner of the school, over time the youths bladders will be forced to adapt.  Some say it was like "Playing god with our urinary systems" and  "The Tavern League called it "augmenting evolution". 

Now, 50 years later Columbus is a community that flushes less, and saves water and we are more productive.

The City Slogan stands outside of town.

Columbus, a Green Community 
We Don't Go, Because We Don't Have Too.