Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

.

NEW www.FrontPorchColumbus Dot Com
positivity running peremptorily
-------------------------
--------------------------------

It was all going so well until Trooper Zank stepped back grabbing his gun and then things got a little dicey.

Two hours before that happened DJ and I were entering the Capri Steak House for the 2nd Annual Columbus Business Appreciation Awards Luncheon (CBAAL) and meeting people we knew but could not remember their names (there are so so many).

We sat at a random table which would turn out to be the Winners table and made chit chat and were having a good time. There was that guy over there that we recognized but did not know from where (they own the Apple Tree restaurant , and before that Lum's in Monona and before that a restaurant in Alaska).

Salad was served which was very fresh and yummy. But not to waste anymore time awards were being given out. They talked about The Blog and mentioned the new website and I got up and people clapped and I was going to thank them all for not suing me in the last year but I decided to let sleeping dogs lay.

Pictures were taken and our table actually had three award recipients. Kim, (you all know Kim from the comments section) for her work on West James Gallery and Robin(??) from the Secret Garden Floral YOUR LOCAL COLUMBUS, WI FLORIST who's website has a link to a list a funeral homes on their useful site section. Not that that is a bad thing, just something I had never considered having a list of funeral homes on my blog. I'm doing a market study on this.

Lunch was served, family style chicken dinner and I tell ya - it was GREAT!! The Capri did a wonderful job. Well done Doc.

Then the CEO of Trek, Ride Longer You've Earned the Extra Daylight (man! talk about taking credit for something) gave a little talk that was very interesting about how fat America is getting and the need to ride bikes more often which after going on five 500 mile bike adventures I agree with. Although after one of those rides I never want my butt touching another saddle.

After the talk there is a raffle and the guy that works at Frank Porth Chevrolet-Buick! Good People to Turn To wins the bike. Go figure. Yet another winner at our table.

After it was over I talked to Pete Kaland (mayoral candidate It will be a better land with Pete Kaland) about history and so forth, the guy is a history geek/library dude and that cannot be a bad thing at all.

So anyway, DJ (who's Easter bunny name is Cuddles Fluffy Paws) and I leave the Capri and DJ has been working on a project since . . . . a long time . . and finally is mailing the packages out. We stop at the post office and she finishes mailing and jumps in the car.

I pull out and she is saying "FINALLY THAT'S OVER" (meaning her project not the ceremony) and I pull out. We are on the way home and turn onto Avalon and I look in my mirror and there is this State Trooper gaining ground at like 100 miles per hour. ME??? YOU WANT ME??

I pull over and this big grumpy looking man-bear walks up and says. "SIR - do you realize you do not have a front license plate?" I say "yea the threads are stripped it's in the back" and then "MAM! Is there a reason you are were NOT wearing your seat belt?"

Now DJ and I wear our seat belts 100% of the time . . . . I thought,  but I guess this time there was a momentary lapse (99.9%).

"MAM, I'm going to have to give you a ticket and SIR, I'm going to have to give YOU a ticket for allowing a passenger to not wear a seat belt".

Well la dee freaking daa!!

I seriously almost broke out laughing but didn't. He looked mean. So then he asks for my drivers license which had my OLD address and he didn't like that a whole lot and then the weirdness started.

"CAN I ASSUME YOU TWO ARE A COUPLE?"

DJ says "That's a very serious thing to say to a girl you just met" or is thinking that and . . .

Wait a minute? was he hitting on DJ (the uniform thing always makes me nervous)? So I nip that one in the butt and say "yes - we are married!" but I feel weird saying it for some reason. There were a few dozens things I WANTED to say. Was he baiting me? WTF!

So he takes all of our papers and goes back to his car and were sitting there laughing (seriously we were). I wanted to say DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? But figured my award would not carry that much weight.

I'm assuming that over the radio the dispatcher is saying

"Rod Melotte has given us a second chance to catch Rod Melotte."

Ten minutes later he comes back to the car and issues the tickets and warnings and hands me some pink papers and starts explaining what they say. Of course I want to be a good citizen even though my last experience with an officer of the law had me getting thrown off an elevator in Madison (remind me sometime to tell THAT story . . . . not real good with authority I guess).

SO - where was I. He is explaining what the tiny letters on the pretty pink paper say and since I can't see the words I go for my glasses in the pocket of my coat.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING SIR!" and Trooper Zang is stepping back and grabbing for his gun!  Holy Shit cowboy relax (I didn't say that but thought it very loudly!!). "I'm getting my glasses" (moron) and I continue looking in pockets not letting his gun hand bother me . . . much.

I'm hoping DJ is taking all sorts of photos with her cell phone as planned but then I see she is about to Bonnie and Clyde it out the door if things get dicey if I don't find my glasses soon.

As luck would have it they are in pocket number three and as I put them on I can't really focus on anything anyway.

He explains that we have a warning for the front license and another warning for the incorrect address on my drivers license and TWO $10 tickets for the seat belt violations (even though I was wearing MINE).

He says we can go to Portage to dispute the tickets and I say

"WHY - there is absolutely nothin I want to do in Portage."

OK OK - I only thought that but I missed the rest of what he was saying as the entire Public Enemies trailer which I have memorized is now going through my head.

Right around the time Johnny says "wanna take that ride with me" and Marion Cotillard says "Yea I wanna take that ride with you" Trooper Zang growls goodbye and I take off not wearing my seat belt - I GUESS he filled his quota as he didn't pull me over AGAIN.

Of course all this has made us late for the Dog Guard fence guy but he is good with it and we're going to buy his fence which is MUCH better then Invisible Fence and all of there hidden fee's.

And finally to add one last thing to make my day. I get a letter from my credit union saying I am 0.37 cents Past Due on a loan. At least there is not a $25 late fee.

Thinking back I should have told Trooper Zang that my Mafia name was Bugsy The Brains Napolitano.  That would have gotten a reaction.

sigh.
-------------------------------------


I'd like to thank the CDA for recognizing The Blog and I really do appreciate it. The last thing I ever ever thought would happen was that this would really take off THIS much. 360,000 hits in one year was about 359,000 more then I thought.

It's a two way street you know. The people and town of Columbus has awakened something and like a giant hairball I just gotta get the words out of my system.

Have a great weekend.

Rod