Call Can Not Be Completed

I'm sitting here conflating my thoughts for the day and realized

I AM THE LUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD!!

I won the Irish Promo and am 750,000 Pounds richer, YEA BABY!! I have won so many European Sweepstakes it's almost unbelievable! You would not believe how many times I've had to send my SSN overseas to claim my winnings. I run to the mail box every day looking for my checks (or would it be cheque's?). There must be a lot of paper work at the Royal Columbia Board of Commissions, the France Payment Center and the European Monarchies Lotteries! Still waiting.
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OH - I better say this before the angry throngs start pounding on my doors - the location of the latest Where In Columbus photo was the corner of Charles St. and Franklin Street. Now stand down and turn off the flames on the tar vats!

Sheesh!
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Like the fog yesterday? I noticed that the freezing temps have started to drop the leaves on Maples.


The above shot was taken in the American Parkway Business Area yesterday which I consider one the the best landscaping miracles I have ever seen. I wish I knew who was in charge of this area as I would like to say thank you. It is just an outstanding landscaping job. I wonder how many people drive past this on the way to Sun Prairie and have never noticed it.

I remember this area as being a huge corn field and was disgusted when American decided to move into the field. But they have done a fantastic job of creating a very beautiful area.

DJ remembers when East Town was all field. Not so beautiful now though.

BTW - does that photo remind you of a cell phone commercial?? (Moron cell phones in a bit - pun intended).

On a little more foggy note, these were taken in Columbus yesterday. The first one I pulled over in a no parking area and was standing in the middle of the road dodging trucks and one of Columbus's finest drove by and gave me "The Look".

So I moved forward a block and took another shot and he drove by again (probably disappointed I moved).

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OK on with yesterdays adventure.

Y'all know about my cell phone problems in the last year or so, right? If not, let me remind you.

Cell phone #1 - golf bag tips over dumping phone on course. Phone get's mulched into 1000 tiny pieces. I find pieces and take all 1000 into store as they said they fix cell phones. I say "Can you fix my cell phone" he says "Yes we can what is wrong" and I pull out my baggy of 1000 pieces, he says it is not fixable. I buy new phone.

Cell Phone #2 - is launder-ized in the washing machine. She's dead Jim.

Cell Phone #3 - stolen from my car that was in the basement of the Department of Justice. Police, in a miracle, capture the perp, and hold my phone as evidence, but then lose my phone (WTF! must be in that big Indiana Jones Warehouse).

Cell Phone #4 - is actually working fine - however - I'm not fond of it and DJ's dad has a new phone and I liked his Razor (Cell Phone #1 and #3) and I switch phones and use the Razor (now Cell Phone #5).

Cell Phone #5 - is worthless.

Friday I get a call from the Asst Attorney General (two worlds colliding) about buying some photos and I'm forced to hang up because the phone is about to lose power. Have not heard from him since.

This brings us to yesterday's adventure.

I was suppose to take photos of that Porsche but logistics were not working out well. Having only 65 miles on the car it has to be trailered everywhere and since it is in a underground nuclear bunker 10 stories under the Gusty Wind River and we only have like 6 hours a month for good weather, THAT photo opp is being rescheduled.

ANYWAY - I was invited up to their house on the Gusty Wind River area (near I90 and Devils Lake and so forth) for some photos of their rather unique house. The problem was it's way in the country and has an address like County Road Q W37514 turn left at the big hill with trees and I was told by a woman I shall call "Suzanne" " don't worry, I'll talk you in when you get close". "Not a problem" I say, "I have a Tom Tom".

I'm driving along and following my Tom Tom and the roads keep getting smaller and names like Deliverance Lane, Cannibal Road and other names that may or may not have been those but in my mind they could have been, when my Tom Tom says in that girlie better then thou tone GO LEFT 300 feet.

I crest the hill and turn left and stop. Before me is this.



What happened to pavement????? Does this look a like a road I want to go down? My brain is screaming, Dachau Dachau, and a dog is barking in the distance.

I stare for a while and backup hoping that bitch in the Tom Tom is having a good laugh!

I go up the road for a ways and decide to call. Suzanne's friendly voice answers and I explain where I am (leaving out the fact that I thought I was in Germany for a few seconds) and she is explaining how to get to her place which is many more turns away( 1 turn, 2 turns, many turns) and I remember the first two beep beep beep.

And hang up, confidence is high!

As I turn on the 2nd road, beep beep beep, my phone is telling me something. It's telling me it's batteries are about to die!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Don't panic, wait until you HAVE to call. Replay emails and your last phone conversation. Black Mail box . . where? Lots of black mail boxes in this area - WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BLACK MAIL BOXES! She has a dog, how can I use that to help, what kind of dog, a black dog, yes, a big black dog. I think she has a big black dog.

I call and the phone says "Call Can Not Be Completed" WHAT?? F U Phone!!

OK relax. I have no idea where I am, the Tom Tom is laughing at me "Ha Ha You are Lost" and I can only remember the woman's first name and that she has a big black dog and my phone is dead. SWEET!!

Confidence is low.

Look for a black mail box and a large black dog. I drive into a place with a black mail box AND it has a big black dog which is barking at me . . . .but . . . . was that a banjo I hear playing in the distance? The dog barks in not the most friendly manner as I'm walking back to the car after not even FINDING a house trying to look innocent. I think this is not the right place when a woman comes out with a pitch fork (not really but there was probably one in the barn which is close enough) and I explain and get better directions once I say the word Porsche (a key word I guess in these parts)!

I'm one road short.

Slightly more confidence enters my veins but I see a group of terradactyl's starting to form a hunting party on a hill waiting for their next supper. You could poke your eye out with one of those guys. I lock the doors.


All ends well - I find the correct place and a Suzanne with her small white dog (oops) wave at me and I'm saved.

Stupid Cell phones! you would THINK that charging for 18 hours would give me more then 5 minutes.

That's my day! I have lots of photos but I think they should seen them first!

Cheers and hugs to all and have the best Wednesday you can have!

Rod