JUST STICK A KNIFE IN MY EYE

I just had to look didn't I. My moms book is ranked 5,792,964 of all books sold at Amazon. I'll have to buy one to boost up the rankings. My goal is to get her rank into the low 5 millions!

THANKFULLY I did not publish her writings to make money! It was more of a present to her. She did get a happy moment when a $25 check came her way once.

SnapShots along the way: a lifetime of poetry by E.V. Melotte

The Olympics are gearing up and I happened to see one of the new events.

Synchronized Office Swimming

I was reading that with the economy slowing (nice spin on that one) one of the areas that is taking a hit is plastic surgery. Many people have decided to not not have it done and are waiting. I know all about that as I was going to have bicep augmentation. They were going to take extra tissue from my butt and insert it in my biceps!

I would ROCK with huge biceps!
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In other news I see hot peppers are now in the cross hairs for salmonella! I like hot peppers and I like them more now that I have destroyed my hot pepper taste buds. How did I do this you ask?

I had a Laotian contractor working for me a number of years ago. Great guy. He actually escaped Laos under gunfire by swimming across a river. Anyway, the guy ate a LOT of tripe which is beef made out of the FIRST of a cows three stomachs, something I will NEVER do!

But he was talking about peppers and being naive when it came to peppers (it was a long time ago) I was all ears.

He grew peppers and brought some in for me. I was single at the time and Lipton Spanish Rice was the meal of choice for my new peppers. I cut them up into little pieces and plopped the entire Habanero into the pot.

pardon me for a second - SOMEHOW I got oatmeal on the back of my head - be right back.

OK - not a clue how that happened - so the rice (or what they call rice) is ready and I fill my bowl and put a spoonful into my mouth. WOW - a LITTLE hot. Perhaps I should wait for it to cool down a little. SHIT!! WHEW!!

I let it stand for 5 minutes and turn on TV and with the bowl in my lap take a big spoonful.

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!

I feel my teeth starting to curl into little balls and my lips are receding into my nose. But it tastes SO good!

My endorphins are racing to the rescue as I put another spoonful into my mouth!! AHHHHH! MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY - my tongue is literally hanging out of my mouth trying to escape my mouth, sweat is starting to drip down my forehead.

But wait - how about one more spoonful, it taste SO GOOD!

My endorphins have now taken over and I can not stop eating this fire bowl from hell. Once the entire bowl is finished I lay there panting - I believe I took a cold wet towel and tried suck on it.

But wait - it ain't over yet.

That night before bedtime I go into the bathroom to get ready for bed and I start to take out my contacts!! MIGHT AS WELL JUST STICK A KNIFE IN MY EYE!! I can't get the pepper juice off my hands to take out my contacts! I want to rip out my eyeball (this would be counter productive I feel).

I did not go to work the next day - I had to sort of stick close to base camp.

Now? hot peppers are hot but I'm pretty immune to REAL hot.
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OK - I gave you Synchronized Office Swimming but on a serious side, take a look at this little Korean freestyle skater! I am TOTALLY impressed!!

Have a wonderful day and just try to endure tomorrow's weather - it is going to be like eating a Habanero - serious heat and humidity!!!

Rod