Trevor Hoffman To Be Shipped to New Orleans to Help Soak Up Oil Spill

MILWAUKEE:  In yet another embarrassing loss to the embarrassing 1st Place Cincinnati Reds and in front of a near sell out crowd of 17,697 the Milwaukee Brewer have shipped their closer, Trevor Hoffman, to New Orleans and the BP Oil Company to be used to help mop up the Oil Spill that has plagued the Gulf Coast for the last month. Manager Ken Macha admitted to reporters that while Hoffman's coveted change-up velocity has been near perfect his fast ball has only been 1 mph greater making it harder to fool opposing batters.

"When you gotta rely in a 80 mph fast ball as your out pitch your gonna be in a world of hurt". 

Macha had planned on using Hoffman to pitch batting practice but TV and Hall of Fame radio personality Bob Uecker, just out of heart surgery, was actually throwing harder then Hoffman in pre game practice. "It's all about the money".  Thus, Hoffman is on a train to the Gulf where he will act as a sponge soaking up oil.

When reporters contacted BP officials they expressed interest in the entire Brewer bullpen to help soak up oil balls. "I think if we could lay the entire bullpen staff end to end we could soak up 36 feet of shoreline.  We can use those chaps more effectively then the Brewers are using them". BP CEO Tony Hayword was heard saying.

Brewer GM Doug Melvin suggested pitching coach Rick Peterson could be thrown in in the deal "He has a lot of hair" Melvin was heard saying. "That can be useful in times like this."

This prompted most of the Brewer non-pitchers to get hair cuts and jump for joy that the bullpen was being bussed south and used for humanitarian purposes.

Rickie Weeks (seen in the back of the photo) just got back from oil soaking duty and is happy to be back with the newly energized Brewers.

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In other news my good friends at NBC4i in Columbus Ohio "Good People make Good Food" had an article on their website titled.


Woman Gets Probation For Choking Groom's Grandma After Wedding Brawl 

So I'm trying to start a new viral buzz phrase which will sweep the nation.  "Momma!  I'm gonna choke you out!"  So here is your homework - today at least once utter that phrase at an appropriate time.   Momma, I'm gonna choke you out!

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I was told just this morning that I should not have mentioned that I have my office equipment booby trapped in case someone thinks that if I'm gone they can grab it.  HA!  it worked!  Now people are looking for the booby traps and will not notice the OTHER things I have going!  I am so freaking clever.  

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Sorry for no report from the CDA meeting Monday night.  My leg was numb from my Basel Cell Carcinoma extraction and I could not make it. DJ says it looks like they took a melon baller to my leg.   I tried to make it but I kept walking in circles trying to get there.
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Did you know that every copier made since 2001 has a hard drive that keeps a copy of what was copied?  So next time you are making a copy of your taxes just know that all that data is on a hard drive that is not yours.

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It's golf league night and I'll see if my round Sunday will carry over.  I was at Yahara and was still in the 30's after 8 holes!

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Chad Ochocinco - class act dude! He did not make the finals in Dancing With The Stars but he took the news with grace and I respect his demeanor. At least he didn't sob or anything! But I wonder if he and Cheryl Burke have anything going?

In other Ohio news (oh man I'm becoming an Ohio suck-up) 261 years ago today - King George II of England grants the Ohio Company a charter of several hundred thousand acres of land around the forks of the Ohio River, thereby promoting westward settlement by American colonists from Virginia. But the BIG news is that tomorrow 504 years ago (where does the time go!!) Christopher Columbus dies.

On August 3, 1492 he set out with three ships, the Santa Maria, the Pinta (known of it's beans), and the Nina. On October 12 he sighted land which was the Bahamas and claimed if for Spain, then later in the month, he sighted Cuba which he thought was mainland China. HELLO!!!! The Bahamas and China are not ever close to each other.

THEN in December he landed on Hispaniola, which he thought might be Japan - And we name cities after this guy?? He returned to Spain with gold and Indian slaves. Did you know that the American Indians refused to be slaves so Columbus would cut off their hands?

. . . . . I had about 4 paragraphs written about cruelty and Columbus but erases it. If you want to read about it go here - it's pretty bad.

Columbus and the Native Americans


ANYWAY - have a great Wednesday!

Rod