My friend Fritz Kline as Lincoln in Columbus |
Quoting one of Abraham Lincolns most famous words "NOW! NOW! NOW! " is the time to move Columbus backwards 150 years.
Just because 100% of the cities in Wisconsin and the Country follow standard procedure and have primaries when more then 2 candidates run for office, why should we follow a tried and true political process that works for all other cities in our Nation.
This blogger called 11 other City Clerks in the area and asked about what their city did and 100% were shocked, but not surprised, that Columbus found a way to make the news again with oddball and bizarre politics. Most comments were in the "Why would they do that?" area.
In other news from the Council, roads were discussed and the fact that the citizens of Columbus continually fill out outdated questioners with the biggest complaint, year after year, on the condition of roads.
To fix this problem perhaps the most cost efficient way would be to take all questions about roads off the survey completely. "At least we won't have to listen to our constituents about why we don't listen to them". That survey has been a real pain" one Aldermen was maybe heard commenting.
But I have a better plan. With the 16/60 reconstruction coming in a few years, why not just tear up all the roads in Columbus and do away with the problem completely. No roads, no complaints!!
Two members of the City Council who are both Auxiliary Police Officers and vote for anything the Police Department wants (conflict of interest worked in 1860 and it continues to be healthy in Columbus) decided that personal cameras were what was needed, but other members of the council who don't have a conflict of interest decided that all citizens of Columbus be issued personal cameras, why does the Police Department only get them.
But because no decision could be made on what kind of camera, 5216 film cameras (as opposed to digital) were purchased. They can be picked up at the Fire Station. Be warned that each camera weights 6 pounds and MUST be worn when out in public, IT'S THE ORDINANCE.
THEN - since Columbus will not have actual roads it was decided, just like in 1860, that the Columbus Police Department should be issued BRAND NEW, STATE OF THE ART HORSES!!
But there is trouble on the horizon and if not for the smart thinking of Eric Anthon, the Water and Light Czar, disaster was diverted.
You see once business and industry across Wisconsin heard that politics were set back 150 years in Columbus and that we were now a stable (yet laughable) community with all citizens working on one goal, to move Columbus backward 150 years, should they rethink relocating to this small yet fiercely divided community? The main question was "Do they have running water?" (like in 1860?).
Eric Anthon to the rescue!
He blasted out an email to all citizens of Columbus. From here on and until further notice you shall run your water 24 hours a day showing visitors and business "YES, COLUMBUS HAS RUNNING WATER AND WE CAN PROVE IT!".
Then there was talk about Heads in Beds and not The Walking Dead variety (a new nickname that seems to be floating around when it comes to the City Council).
Seems some on the council do not like the idea of giving room tax money to organizations that bring people into Columbus. Why give money to the carriage people or the Xplosion softball girls. All it does is bring people into Columbus and they use our roads and look at our buildings. We should only give room tax money to advertise in the same publications that everybody else, with no real vision, does. The last thing we want to do is become "creative" when it comes to spending money.
And seriously, give money to help The Broadway Theater? Why would we want to help this people anyway. What good will a vibrant theater do to our downtown? Lets not give them ANY help so they get used to it. Look what happened to Lincoln . . . . . IN A THEATER!!
Photo bombing the Lincoln family |
sigh! So once again negative political news about Columbus is being broadcast to Wisconsin because of an archaic loophole our politics. I thought we had grown out of that dark period but once again we have become newsworthy in a bad way.
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